My velly old blog.

Fuck, I am very very angry you know.

2005-11-30T00:02:00.000+08:00

Hello readers. I am very angry. Because Dx don't work for two days already. Very very very angry.

I realise my blog hasn't been a blog lately. Bloody hell write like all the sad stuff, and you people out there wonder if I actually am underground already.

Alright, so I'll liven things up! Today I had training, it was okay. Gosh, I really think we're improving. Seriously, there's nothing more scary than Anna's PMS. Thank heavens that she was okay after that.

So BHN is next week and I'm still slacking.
So I planned to slim down ultra and be skinny in Jan and I think I've grown fatter.
So it's December and I haven't found my homework.

Congratulations, I act like there's no tomorrow.

Sometimes I feel so spurred and on fire, and the rest of the time it bloody drops to zero.
Fuck me lah.

2005-07-01T22:55:00.000+08:00

http://rubenesque.diary-x.com .

Relink pls .

2005-06-27T15:37:00.000+08:00

TOMYAM , mmmmm .

Aye my sitting position is retarded la .

Just checked the draws AND
XIAXUANZE IS COMINGGGG ohmygosh .
But I can only go watch his match IF
He wins on wednesday , because that's school time ):

PLEASE WIN PLEASE WIN PLEASE WIN
Although you're playing with world ranking 14 PLEASE WIN .

Sob sob .

First day of school officially sucks
and tomorrow is Art , AND Dnt .
Now how bad can that be . LOL .

FIVE MONTHS , screams :) <3 .

I CANT STOP THINKING OF TRAINING .
TRAINING TRAINING TRAINING TRAINING
GREEN MAT GREEN MAT GREEN MAT .

THERES NO WAY IM GONNA SLACK ANYMORE =D .

Proverbs 19:8

One who slacks is brother of one who destroys

Or somethhing like that .

GREEN MAT TEAM , GREENMAT :D

[/edit ]
3 HIPHOP JELLIES 5 SEA CUCUMBERS
AFTER DINNNER oh my goodness i'm fattening =D
HAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAA .

How I long for you to do smth which'd make me feel . loved .

2005-06-26T13:13:00.000+08:00

WOW , yesterday was tiring , so beat even now .
Training , THANK YOU JUNBAO again :)
Hehehe , sorry for making you jealous Rocher , HA .

With the young night flooded with stars ...

:) LAST DAY OF HOLIDAYS
OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS .

In eme's now . Go bathe dammit .

Friendster surfed .
Maybe i'm just , oversensitive .
And too territorial .
Just felt like you cared more for some others .

But I believe , for you and me the sun will shine one day .

Maybe everything's that's coming between this .
Is just a test of our faith in each other .
But I miss you so ,
and I can't ease this pain .
If I could only let you know .

I had a dream that i committed pre maritial sex .
HAHAHAHA , but the baby was cute .
LMAO ROFL . Maryanne :
OH MY GOSH REALLY ! how can you have that kind
of dream , so horrible .

SO CUTE .

I feel as sadistic as my mom now .
She was screaming in the kitchen at lunch
HAHAHAHA THE KNIFE DOESNT WORK
I CUT MUSHROOM WITH A SCISSORS
I MUST A SHARPERNER TO KILL MY CHILDREN
HAHAHAHAHHA

Oh my goodness gracious .

Thanks much to :
Emeline . For calling me at 4am
and inviting me to watch the sunrise .
And assumed I was still awake , when actually .
She woke me up .

Hahahaha . <3 pomt .

Holidays over soon .
There can't be any us if there can't be any trust .
But while we can't talk ,
I'll miss you so .

I know you had to go away
I'd die just a little
Cause I feel it now you're
The one I need
I believe that I will cry just a little
Just to have you back now .
Here with me .

Bathe faster Emeline dammit .

2005-06-25T13:41:00.000+08:00

HOHUMS .

I'm back from camp and everything online remained the same .
HAHA , so desolate my blog is . Hello anyone there ? :)
So funny actually . I missed everyone :D

Camp > Home .

Things done :
Bathed
Did MY laundry .
Died from the smell .

Things to do :
Wash those hair accessories .
Sleep on bed .
Wash hair accessories again .
Sterilize it .
LOL .

Camp was quite good , the motivation was there .
To green mat we'd head .
:)
But best parts are at night .
Of course where sleeping is necessary .
And the little gossip sessions really bring the joy around .
Ha .

Some people are super irritating and selfish luh .
And some just have a screwed up attitude .
*@&(*!@& , never mind nobody's perfect .

After so much time spent with the team these two days .
I've come to realise .

I miss the primary school team . Alot .
Every single one of them .

GREEN MAT IS ALL I WANT .

Thank you junbao :)

2005-06-22T18:43:00.000+08:00

Happy birthday Alex .
Hardly anyone came for training .
What kinda .. never mind .

Calista gone mad today . Really .

Urhhh .
I'm not in the mood .

2005-06-21T12:30:00.000+08:00

alright i got my music player running
but i just dont wanna put it up yet .
Cause there's like . Only songs in letter A .
I will only be contented when i reach artist Z .
Moohhahaha .

CANDICE , HAPPY BIRTHDAY
I love you lotslots .
And though i can't make it ,
i really pray for your blessings
and for your birthday to be special .
Lovelove .

In my world , before you .

Ahh , art's a killer . No seriously .

[/edit] 249pm

Okay they're partying i'm headaching .
WHY , cause art sucks .
And when I attempt to distress , it brings more .
WHY ?!
Cause i broke the mouse .
And i have to press tab ten thousand times .
@#&^!@*& STUPID MUSIC PLAYER SHIT .
WHEN I HAVE IT ON NOBODY
BETTER STEAL IT LIKE POOF
OR QUEY!@*#(!@&#*!@UISN
QWMDN*O!@YE*(Y!DIE!JKL@Y
JQWHEJKQHWEJKHQWJKE
HQJKWEHJKQWEHJK
@!&*!@*&NSHSHSHSH
jkQDHJKQHJDHQWJKEHJKQW
HEJKQWEOKQWDLKQWDPIQWOD"P
QSDJQL:WKEOQWEPQWI{EIP
QWPEEKQW":K:QW"
QWLEKQL:WKEL:QWKL"EK"QWKE}{QDK}{DKP":Q
qWKELJ:QWLEKL:QWKEL"QWK"XDKP
QSDJ":QMD":PQWK"P
QWELJQWDKP
KQ:
KDP"QWJKQJC":J
{DJQWP
DJK:P
QDKL"QJP
DQWJK"PDQJP
WJKEP
QWJQW"PDWJL"DNL:CJQL"JWL"Q
JL"QWEJL"QWJLQWEJL"QW

Okay back to art . It's less stressing though it's stressing .
#*!@&( .
NO MOUSE LUH SHIT .

2005-06-20T13:19:00.000+08:00

still a little bit of your face i haven't kissed

You don't have to be sorry , what I did in the past .
I knew it was all wrong .
But love blinds . And I was stupid .

still a little bit of your song in my ears

day began , candice ho called at 5 am .
YES I'm awake you jetlagger . Lol .
I'm glad you're back , i've missed you .
Ahh , and now , someone else dear to me goes off .

still a little bit of your words i long to hear

You shouldn't have just left with a note .
I wanted a real goodbye .
But it's too later already , see you soon , in time to come .

How things could have changed .
If nothing went wrong in the past . The past .
It's the quintessential of your future .
I guess what I did in the past doesn't promise a good future .
Ahh , and you come online .
Maybe what we did was wrong too . But i'm sorry .
You don't have to change so much .
Why do I brag so much about it .

Forget it, i'm just going to training and train like there's no tomorrow .

[/edit]

I'm sorry Anna , whatever you heard , isn't true anymore .
I love you .
And whoever told you that .
Shut the fuck up . !@#*& .
OH & mummy says you can stayover :D

Uhh . Training was okay . Kimmy didn't show . Hur .

Er . I finished the humongous card .
Camp group woohoo :)
<3333

2005-06-19T14:19:00.000+08:00

Friends , friendship .
It might be a blessing , but what if it changes .

Imagine , your close friend .
Always promised to be there , always .
One day , it just took a turning point , and from then .
Nothing's the same again .
The talks are never the same .
The communication . The love for one another .
It's just gone , and you question yourself .
What the heck's going on .
Forget it , i'm just too disappointed on how you left me hanging .

Reaction , does it come naturally or intentionally .

Could I scream . Could I laugh .
How should I react to show you i'm better off .
I for one am at lost . I pray you're blessed . I think .
Maybe i'm too sensitive .
Maybe .

Church last night .
That decision to let the dead old me seem dead .
Was tedious . I wanna let go of what I was .
But it isn't gonna be easy .
I'd say whoever gets in my way of trying i'll deal off with you .
But that would be returning to square one .
AHHH see . Evil me .

Today feels depressing .

2005-06-18T10:27:00.000+08:00

Yesterday ,
met up with Rocher to pass cookies .
Then met up with Sheena :D
TO PREPARE FOR THE GATHERING .
We went to heartland .
Irritating shit , you can pretend you don't see me .
So be it .
Bought the stuff
went back to sheena's and cookied pasta :D
Played Booburlah :D
Then , Jaz came over .
And we had the fruit of our labour :D
Then Renee came over :) :) :)
We watched bridnget jones first , cause sheena's
mom was against scary shows .
But after much persuasion and rebelling ,
we ended up watching chucky . M-18 , FOR WHAT ?!
Okay maybe cause it was damn vulgar , and hysterically
violent . My favourite part .
No no , they didn't say Violence is bad ,
they said VIOLINS is bad , the schreeching of the stupid thing
makes ..
LOL :D Chucky is so uber cute luh .
After Chucky , we did some funny stuff .
Door gifts > Pantyliner saying ; Welcome to the panty I MEAN party .
And tampon from Renee . LOL .

That's a wrap up :)
I love PL badminton team 04 .

2005-06-16T10:55:00.000+08:00

HELLO I DIDNT GET TO BLOG YESTERDAY .
Yesterday was Bestie day :)

Tsk , speak of the devil such what what .
I was thinking abt something , and it really happened .
Quite amusing somehow .
Yet , very coincidental . You don't hafta run away from us luh .
The whole world knows who'd you gonna meet .

Went to town , Anna bought a shirt which I SAID WAS CUTE .

Its like F.C.K and all that's missing is you .
SO SWEET RIGHT , hurhur . Right .
No kaya toast LOL .
Oh well , everyday is Bestie day . :) I love Anna lots .
You were very sweet at that point of time .
And thank you for kissing me in the movie theatre
that was SOOO romantic -_- . LOL .

Watched Mr and Mrs Smith with the Lionel and Khai .
The lionel likes to get bullied by Khai .
Wa lau . Reminds me of me and elohssa .
Or Elohssa and Gawaine . LMAOOOROFLLLLLLL .
One part was damn sad cause they were pointing guns at each other .
Then she was like SHOOT MEHHH . Then he was like
I can't bear to . omg so sweet i cried .
But the next thing that came made me go -___- WALAU
After the sweet part POOF they had sex . Wa lau
So anti climax .
Angelina Jolie is HOT , may Jennifer Aniston be jealous :)
YES ANNA , JAY CHOU AND EDISON CHEN IS CUTE .
But the last guy with or without the moustache is not cute .
Why do they comment on everything , WHY .

Hohums . Then had to rush home cause we were 3 hours
late from our curfew . MOOHAHA , no butter or kaya toast .
Oh well .
Last night was super crazy i was screaming like shit at home .
No butter or eggs . So i went Loco .
And Anna couldn't possibly be able to wake up at 7
to pass me butter . She's the replica of a pig .
And she would probably sleep by 8pm .
And Anna's sister claimed Anna wasn't home but i know she lied .

So I was like WHYYY WHYY WHYYYY .
WHY MUST THE SISTER BE LIKE THAT
WHY MUST THEY HAVE ONE HOUSE PHONE
WHY MUST ANNAS PHONE BE CONFISCATED
WHY ...

And I begged for money .
My sister lent me 5 bucks . She was like
AND YOU HAVE TO RETURN ME MY TEN BUCKS YOU OWE ME
So she was like I WRITE CONTRACT
Wa lau , my life is over luh . I'm penniless boohoo .

Happy Birthday , EMELINE AND MEIYANG :D

Kimmy called , i didn't know that people were so behind me .
Thank you team , i'd try improvising myself .
I appreciate the support :)

ERM , Later going to Emeline's party , gotta rush home
from training then go over .
SUCH A TIRING DAY .
I might sleep on the BBQ . MIGHT .

Maybe i should wear PJ's ...

2005-06-14T10:52:00.000+08:00

ERRGHH i had been awoken
like a monster getting grumpy from disturbance in slumber .
!&#^!@&*#^&*# WENT TO KOVAN
IN THE MORNING
I HAVENT EVEN OFFICIALLY WOKEN UP .
to book court , yeeha .

I FEEL EVIL WHILE TALKING TO MARYANNE
AND SHOWING HER A PICTURE , HEEEHEEE .

IM TIRED , IM GOING BACK TO BED GOOBYE .

[/edit]

What happened .
Oh yes , played badminton with khai bestie khai's friend lionel .
We won and lost . Gosh , i hate playing with guys .
Anna was whining , Im sleepy I wanna go home Im hungry .
Gosh .
Lionel looks like Harry Potter .
They are retarded .
Anna bought a blue rose , and she plucked the leaves out .
So khai and lionel said it was naked .
and she swung it , and 3 petals came out .
Then she walked further and 5 fell off .
Then at level 2 . All dropped off . It was a period of 2 minutes .
So khai and lionel said : it was naked , now it's botak .
Quite funny actually .
Had kaya toast , and I WANTED TO PUNCH AH BENGS .
Wa laoo , i don't know la so @*!&*(! .
Should have given them my number , and when i get theirs ,
they're on my pranking list baby .
LMAOO .

then went to swings . Lionel was such a poor thing .
He had to follow Khai everywhere .
Khai said he'd take another five minutes .
And so Lionel said he would wait five minutes .
And he said that an hour later , and another hour later , LOL .
We ran on the bus , went to POMT's house below to swing .
They made new friends . Quite mean .
Ate cup noodles at opp old school mini mart , aww i miss the aunty .
Tom yam . Khai couldn't take it .
I dared him to drink all the soup for 5 bucks .
He did it with a straw . But i had no 5 bucks actually .
Went back to the upper lever of the park .
They played this flick bottle cap game till it disappeared .

Went home from then .

They're quite funny . And I miss Anna .
Though i saw her 1 hour ago and i'll see her soon again .
bye world

2005-06-13T19:27:00.000+08:00

I CAME BACK ALREADY .

Er today training was retarded .
Er , went to play with xiu cui and khai before training .

SO SIAN

Oh , shut up la irritating dogs .

2005-06-12T20:44:00.000+08:00

NEW BLOG SKIN ,
because :
The previous one scared people
And I am bored .

This can't scare people . It is too retarded .

HEEHEEE , I think it's quite cute .

Umm , TODAY ERM STUDY SESSION .
Only i was studying -_-
They watched movie something .
I was listening to WOMENDEAI / 1 in a mill .
Sad songs , boohooohoooo .

YAYE , JOLYN SAYS MY SKIN IS CUTE .

Back to life :D MEEHEE .

We went back after the labtop died .
The way home we retarded with the dingdingdong .
And the bus trip was ridiculous .
Sorry to those the balloon hit ,
and we made a quite insultive song towards - - - :D
It's not someone .
It's something , but i shan't reveal :)

BALLOON BYEBYE ):

WE ARE SMART AND NERRRDDDYYY -sings .

Oh how i Love ERM study sessions .

Tomorrow , training .
To my surprise i'm pretty excited .
Aww , i miss my ahbeng laogongiex
CANDICE HO ):

2005-06-12T00:06:00.000+08:00

Tiring day . Congratulations Frances and Charlotte .
2nd in Singapore ? AWESOME :D

I'm sleepy , goodbye .

2005-06-10T17:26:00.000+08:00

Today I turnaround & walk my way .

&*(&*!@# , I miss BESTIE . Never come for training .
Stupid KIM .
Yes , I forgot about the basketball poser .
But now i remember , HA .
Partnered everyone . Almost . Lol .
Home -ed .

Boredom .
Went to Pomt's house .
I've missed you (: I'm glad your back .
Lol . Stupid recordings .

Came back .
I ran late ): SHIT .
Went bonkers for math . TO HELL WITH MATH .
Boohoo .

Today begins my walk with you .
Where you go , I go .
Where you live , I live .
I'll spend my days within sound of your voice
and my nights in reach of your hand .

Don't live like there's a tomorrow .
Don't wait till the last moment to tell me what i wanna hear .

2005-06-09T21:30:00.000+08:00

HAAA , tiring day .
Started out hand in hand with boredom .
Woke up around 10 .
Decided to go study with bestie .
Went to compass . The cafe .
Crazy shit woman screaming at the library counter .
Then we got tired of compass .
So went back to Kovan MACS .
(#&!*(@#&*(!&@#*(#!@ .
Saw these two stupid people hold hands
hyperventilated and died and fainted and vomitted .
BLEAUUUGGUYYYYUUUCCCK .
Then went to the second floor chair .
Sat down .
" WANNA PLAY BADMINTON "
"OK RUIYI "
" GO MY HOUSE TAKE RACKET DOWNSTAIR PLAY "
"OKAY "

-jumps off and takes one one three to home .
LOL .

On the way back was funny .
Was telling anna bout this guy called timothy in outside trng .
She just bursted out in laughter at the impersonations .
SOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH .
So we ran off the bus .
Found this enormous stick and went crazy with it .
Became my neighbours bamboo pole .
HA . That point of the day
was the wackiest .
Did i mention she flung my phone which flew 1
metre before crashing into the ground ?
Luckily it isn't broken . HUMPH .

Played badminton . Pure idiotism . Lol .
Then i sent her home .
:) I LOVE MY BESTIE . <33333
YAYE .

Then went to compass Singtel shop .
Got the thingy wingy .
Then ATE MOS BURGER :D <3
And went home . And died .
BYEBYE HELENA .

2005-06-07T21:43:00.000+08:00

I AM QUITE SAD RIGHT NOW .

I'm getting a new phone tomorrow .
That .
Deletes .
Everything .

All those memories I know I wanna keep .
Good and bad .
Needless to say why , I just want to know
I was there before .
And it's all gonna be gone with the wind .
All the sweet messages from you guys .
All the photo of friends and funny pictures .
Finals with pompomhead
All .
Goodbye ):

BUT HELLO NEW PHONE .
YEEHAA . Contradicting am I .
I guess it's just another way of telling me to let go of everything .
Maybe it was meant to be
HEY WHO CARES NEW PHONE YEEHA
What's my problem .

LMAO .

2005-06-06T12:10:00.000+08:00

God , i was just having a bad mood that day .
Was that a guilty charged crime .

This is SO not my year .

Come to think of it .
Everything that went wrong was just
smothered with misunderstandings .

Argh , never mind .
I'll just let you hate me ,
when you don't ever know the truth about it .

2005-06-05T12:36:00.000+08:00

I just went through all my posts to double check .
I never said fuck you to you .
I just called you a fucken asshole
" That fucken asshole doesn't know how much she's right about asking for . "
You're a piece of lying shit .

I shouldn't have even apologised .

Never mind . I guess now that i did , i'm excused .
It was you who did not believe me .

OH WELL . Luuuzzr .

MMm . I'm playing with junior today .
Used permanent marker to draw on my palm
reasons why i should win that is

I have Junbao's face there , saying FORTY BUCKS .
and the word GOD , annabella . promises .
The black heart and the samurai (:

I'm gonna win .
I better win . It ain't fair if i lose .
I've gone more than you . Rah . (:
I WANNA GET IN THE QUART FINALS .
But that means i have to meet fellow walkover .
Which is quite sad .

NOT FAIR .
KHAI GETS AMORTEC OFFENSIVE FoR NINETY BUCKS
when it's sold at 600 or 500+
RAH #!&@(^*(@#* .

Damn , today , my wish didn't come true .
The tutor did not call to say
Hello i cannot make it for tuition
IT MUST BE AN UNLUCKY DAY
Till 4pm .
I'm ready i'm ready .
(:

Be glorified .

[/edit]

So it isn't fair .
I don't understand . ):
Thank you Junbao coach for . Consoling me .
I just hope you don't give up on me .
Cause to me , you're only the best i've ever had .

So i lost . CRY CRY CRY .
So irritating &#!@*(@& .
So much for quart finals . Thanks Amanda .
For assuring me your win on Wednesday on my behalf .
Thanks Paddy , Samantha , Bernice .
Who consoled and comforted me .
Thanks Frances and Melissa , who came all the way .
Thanks Denise . For those training you gave me .
But I guess I won't be training anymore .
So much for SBA . I can just give up right now .
Thanks Alex , for paying that 40 bucks to come down .
Thanks for coaching me . I know I improved over that period .

Thanks Khai .
For making it here all the way by taxi just to support me .
Thanks for consoling me .
Thanks for buying me chocolate to cheer me up .
Thanks for sending me home .

This feels like a Death speech .

So I guess i'm not cut out for it . I don't know what i'm gon' do now .

Came home .
Ate a bag of chips . Milk with bananas . Cereal .
I guess this is just a simple way of dying .
In pleasure , which overcomes the torment of being a loser .
Goodbye Ruiyi it's not hard to die .
When all the chips are singing in the sky .

2005-06-04T17:25:00.000+08:00

Okay pomt , maybe tonight i'll call you or come online .
You can complain about stuff and talk about GAWAINE .
LOL .
Told Gawaine my name is elohssa
and Emeline's name is daehtraf (:

I'm off to training .

I don't critisize for nothing .
I always hoped that .
Never mind , maybe those whom i've quarrelled with before
would understand .

Maybe you're just different .

2005-06-03T22:37:00.000+08:00

Today , just a moment of reminisce .
It all seemed to fly .
I guess i'm to used to being this way .
I wanna withdraw from this game .
I cannot go on like this .

But .
Don't let me be the last to know .

Yaye , won .
Im still smelly .
So toodles .

2005-06-03T11:12:00.000+08:00

Lol .
Say what you want , say what you like .
Cause you're just .
Making me laugh . Hard .
HAHA .

Thanks Khai . I know you care .
But you need not resort to violence :D
She doesn't deserve the essence of your body parts in her face .
LOL .

Match later around 7pm
but i'm going at ... 12 (:
What am i going to do for seven hours you say ?
Sit . Watch . Sleep . Wait .
HUR . I just have absolutely nothing to do at home .
Maybe i shouldnt go that early after all .
(:

Thank you Pomt . I love you .
Thanks for the note you left behind . It's quite true .
I don't even know why i just got so worked up over it .
Maybe i'm just not used to having such .
people in my aura .
I didn't critisize anybody now did i .
Don't care about the spammer luh so childish .

I just loathe spammers .
I'm bored again now can you tell .

2005-06-02T19:57:00.000+08:00

So i didn't manage to wake up and study .
Talked to Pomt till the wees .
(: Long time since , thank you for tahaning me .
LOL .

Training .
No strength . Mood . I don't know .
Just couldn't fair out there .
Training kinda sucked . Have to do " homework "
Someone remind me PLEASE .
Or i'd forget . Totally .

Tomorrow's match at 7 .
First and last doubles match we'd win PLEASE
It's so practically obvious .
(: OH WELL . NURHAHA .

I realise how everythings changing .
In the class .
HIP HIP HOORAY .
I don't like the sound of " whatever "
I swear i'll slap the next person who says it .
So . Don't act like you don't know it since i've declared it here .
I HATE WHATEVERS AND WILL SLAP THE NEXT
PERSON WHO SAYS IT TO ME .

(:

Why is this song reciting in my head ?! HUH ?!
" Lonely i am so lonely "
It is much worse than mac donald's OOHLALA .

!&*&#*&!!@# .
Does anyone know how bored i can get
OH . My accomplishment of the day :
I DID NOT EAT LUNCH :D
Maybe cause i woke up and ate breakfast at 12 .
HOOHAHA . Then i resisted the temptation of buying chips from the store !
Then i ate keropok at home .
EH , WHAT IS MY PROBLEM ):

Candice c . :)

Do cheer up love .
Those people are uber mean .
And I the great great great macho
will protect you from the likes of them .
I love you <3 :D
I KNOW ITS YOUR BIRTHDAY LUH .
:)

BORED BORED BORED BORED
ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE
HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT
FAT .
Lmao .

Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz .
Amazing how 26 letters can spell out
a whole book of words , like the dictionary . SO BIG .
And it can make sentences so long
and it can make so many vulgarities :D

IM JUST BEING REALLY LAME NOW LA BYEBYE

2005-06-01T16:43:00.000+08:00

Stop pretending to love her&stop pretending to be loved .

Pretense .
Such a powerful word .
It can be used to sustain the false coverfront of a person .
And it could also could self invite deceptive concepts
into the mindsets of others .

Who the heck gives a damn for it anymore .
I'm not holding resentment .
So stop being a coward .
When you're only pretending not to be .

First time i've got so troubled over such situations .
But I won't regard myself as a total gooseberry ,
and i have to admit , i'm lucky to meet the people i meet :)
Thanks Rocher .
I just love the way you whisper it's okay .
It brings the aura of my childhood back to revival .
<3 :)

I'm not afraid .
Cause now I know , who i've got behind me always .

Day's tiring .
Gave training a tiny miss . Oh please spare me tomorrow PLEASE .
& I realise .
Never mind .
I'm glad , somehow .

Congrats to those who won .
It's okay , try harder . Cheer up to those who tried .

Don't waste my time . Don't mess with me .
Cause i don't want anything to get dirty .
CRAMP CRAMP CRAMP CRAMP CRAMP ):
I just knew one month of happy no maenses would come to an end .
HAHA , I FEEL SO OPEN .

2005-05-31T17:44:00.000+08:00

HAHA , i read it off maryanne AND emelines blogs .
And it was so sweet , so i must spread it
and return their sweetness (:
THANK YOU LOVES .

14 of your favorite people. ( In no order. )
1 Bestie
2 Pomt
3 Maryanne
4 Cherlene
5 Meiyang
6 Candice
7 Candice chai
8 Sherrie
9 Vanessa
10 Eve
11 Pomt.
12 Julia
13 Jolyn Soo
14 Khai

13 of your favorite foods.
1 White chocolate
2 Crunchie
3 Oreo
4 Seafood
5 Kaya toast
6 French fries
7 Roti prata
8 Bandito pocket
9 Cheese pasta
10 Cookies
11 Hotdogs
12 Ramen
13 Er . Food la .

12 favorite restaurants.
1 ME , Macs .
2 Crystal Jade
3 Mosburger CORN SOUP :D
4 Mache
5 Sushi Tei
6 buffet stuff
7 KFC
8 ):
9 (:
10 O:
11 D:
12 9:

11 favorite memories.

1 Plumber day
2 2b2 outings .
3 Winning competitions in p5
4 Memories you share with someone you can never have again .
5 Outings .
6 4 years of best friends .
7 ERM Session (:
8 Fighting with Elohssa
9 Surongmei lessons .
10 Scary show outings .
11 Church .

10 people who have changed your life

1 God
2 Annabella
3 Emeline :)
4 Maryanne
5 Xinyuan
6 so far
7 hardly anyone
8 could really change me
9 from what i've
10 already become .

9 things you dream of.
1 Apple labtop
2 Getting into SBA
3 Ipod / Zentouch
4 More stuff .
5 Queen size bed thank you .
6 A red romantic room .
7 A good racket .
8 New badminton shoes .
9 Triple science .

8 of your obsessions.
1 Badminton
2 Handphone
3 Anger management .
4 walking dogs that dont shit
5 Radio
6 the room phone .
7 Thinking violent scenarios .
8 Dying .

7 beautiful people.
1 Me
2 You
3 Him
4 Her
5 They
6 Everyone .

6 people you hate.

i admit i do hate
But i'm trying .

5 of your favorite things.

1 Bed
2 Bolster
3 Handphone
4 Cow
5 Green bestie balloon

4 things that scare you.

1 myself
2 Loved ones leaving .
3 Mr kim's coaching
4 Another war

3 movies you love.

1 Romance
2 Shutter
3 Dumb&Dumberer . BULLSHIT looks at ME .

2 books you love

1 SUBMISSIVE , smacks lips ;)
2 Angels and demons which i read faster than Khairul .

1 person you trust with your life

1 God , but if a mortal , Annaline . LOL .
Or Emebella . LOL
/:

YAYE im done . Now i can go take stuff
and go over to emelines to study and to go swimming .

Stupid mother .

2005-05-30T15:40:00.000+08:00

Well , sometimes it sucks to be misunderstood .

But I need to say this now .
Hey Eudora , you have no right to question or doubt my love and faithfulness to God .
And by doing so , you're disgracing only but yourself . So take it back
I'd appreciate it . For both our sakes .
I shan't spill thoughts on this stupid webpage . In school perhaps .

But maybe by school reopen i'll forget .
Ah who cares .

Just devoured my lunch . I'm hungry .
Training drained me completely . Competition later .
Heehoo . Unto the Lord I shall glorify his name .

Hmm . My mood has been stolen away .
I realise sudden fury and rashness brings back my childish side .
But I guess cooling down , i can settle things more maturely .
Unlike the likes of some .

Hey , i'm not pinpointing at anyone .
So don't think i'm talking bad about anybody .

[/edit]

Came home , i managed to win . Though it was a drag .
SHE'S SEC ONE LA COME ON RUIYI
WHY RUBBER SET WHYYYYY .

WHY HALFCOURT WHY OUT WHYYYYYY .
Can I PLEASE be a better player . I wish i had ronald susilos hand and legs .
):

OH , HOW COULD I FORGET .

THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU
Khai (: For coming down to cheer me though i screwed up .
& Giving me candy . Chocolate . Yea .
& sending me home !

Nonetheless , You are really nice ! HAHA .

THE COACH JUST SCOLDED ME ON THE PHONE ):
for screwing up real bad .
I'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry
But i gotta say
I learnt something from today (:
and i think it will help me for my next match . Thank you .

2005-05-29T10:33:00.000+08:00

Hohums , so my position in class is really .
Demoralising . Well , i'll buck up man .
From top of the bottom , to . TOP . HAHA .
POMT , and special . We three uh , LOL . GOGOGO .
Better start bucking up .
Ms Hazelin says i'm smart actually .
I don't get it , i bet she doesn't mean it .
A teacher can't possibly say
" ruiyi is actually stupid so she can give up "
So , I shan't be flattered or motivated .
BUT THANKS ALOT . ; shrugs .

Erh , got my racket back . It has tension woohoo .
I can hit something properly now .
But I owe the gay coach 2 bucks . Oh well (:
I just hope he ain't my umpire in cheers . GAH .

Churched with mom last night .
Praise the Lord , prescence purpose passion :)
Through it all :)
I left my racket in the church .
Luckily my church is SO special . The people
like to show off . Well a few of them .
And play in the midst of the building .
That though gave me a brainshock and i ran back to retrieve it .
WHEW . :)

Mum was testing the tension of the string .
By whacking the air . So embarassing . LOL .
I was like , how do you check the tension if you hit NOTHING .
Then she hit my head -_- .
Kinda quarrelled with her . For not letting me study with Shawn .
But i think she will let me , I MEAN
he's a FRIEND . LOL .
Oh well , silly mumsy .

Burger king-ed for dinner .
So much for fatty goodbye .
):

I realise i've been waking up punctually at eight every morning
with no school of course .
There must be something wrong with my brain functions .
I WANT TO SLEEP TILL 12 .
But it seems impossible already to sleep till 10 ): .
I NEED MORE SLEEP . But i ain't tired .

WHEEHOOOO , tomorrow starts my trail :)
And please Ruiyi , remind yourself what you doing this for .
SBASBABSAbSABSBABSABSABSBASBASBABSBA .
If i forget that for one second and give up in some match
I'll heavily regret so don't mind me reminding myself here .
Training tomorrow ! :) I'm itching to try the tension .
NURhahaha .

GOODMORNING pomt , sorry to have woken you up .
You sounded really retarded . HAHA .

OOO , Anna's online . Seems i ain't the only one online early :)
Junes just started , oh wait . It hasn't begun .
And i'm already missing everyone ):
E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E .
Excluding elohssa . HAHAHA , i'm kidding .
I miss attacking you .

I forgot what i was gonna OH YA i remember .

Well . This group and circle of my life .
Has been the wonderful part of this year to me .
And I don't know what i'd do , with it gone .
Maybe we shouldn't let go so easily .
You're only the best i ever had .
& It's really special , how we grow in God's faith and favour .
As we stand by each other .
Are we really gonna let this fall apart .

I hope not .

I don't have much liking for cardboard .

POMT BEAN SPECIAL FATED PAPAYA MOOMOO EVE XINYUAN JULIA CHICKEY
CANDICE EVERYONE .

CALIS VAL ONLY ONE BESTIE NERI EVERYONE .

BESTIE , EVERYONE .

I miss you , awwwwww :)

[/edit]
1854
Just came back from study session !

Left house at 1 to walk emelines dog .
It shitted and peeed . But did not vomit . Hur .
I was quite contented . First time walking a dog .
NOONOO , or NU-NU . :)
Then , rained poured down , went to emes house .
She ate meegoreng and i ate vanilla ice cream .
Eileen was there too :)
Then we left , and with ONE umbrella .
Emeline said she would SHARE it with me , but i should not have trusted that .
First of all , she ran off with the umbrella under candice hos house .
Lucky eileen was there to help me .
Then bus ed over to heartland . Maryanne already reached .
SUPER COLD .
Emeline left a tub of ice cream in the bus for the uncle .
SO NICE RIGHT :D

Reached macs . Freaking cold .
Stuuuuupid macdonalds with its stuuuuupid commercials .
RERHS .
Went abit mad there , laughed and laughed alot .
Then we came out with this study / prayer group
First REM , then changed to ERM .
THANK YOU ME FOR MOTIVATING ME TODAY :D
I am very happy . I studied ALOT . NURHAHA .
Although it was freezing cold and we cold barely move our fingers .
And only had one cup of hot drink .
IT WAS FUN .
Then we took 113 back home .
Went mad on the bus with stupid conversations .
TURBAN :D
HAHAHAHA . Dies .

I LOVE MARYANNE AND EMELINE .
Some study session again some other time eh ?
And remind me to bring my own umbrella .
AND , no more macdonalds . No more OOlala or im lovin it .

erm , ERM ROCKS . :D
<33333

2005-05-28T15:41:00.000+08:00

WHEW , cheers is in 2 days , and i'm slacking shit .
What the heckamoni ):
Oh well . Meet the parents session .
Was too sleepy to go
CHEER UP POMT . We shall study hard together :)
Yes we will !

I'm dying of boredom .
Lately, i realise i tire real easily .
I sleep half a day and still feel tired .
What's wrong with me .

Geeee . Nothing to do . Maybe i should go sleep .
Yawn , CHURCH LATER WOOOOHOOOO .

I wanna collect my racket ALONE .

2005-05-27T20:47:00.000+08:00

Yes , happiness has come running back .
Basically cause the computer has .
Ha .

Sum up of today ,
Elohssa / Carissa utterly disgusts me .
Yet, her bravery and tongue of wonders
has somehow amused and fascinated me ,
though i had to run for the sink . And probably choke on air .
Spent the whole day , mostly with MOO .
:) Love you maryanne , but you probably won't see this .
I HAD FUN OKAY =D Kisses-

Though the back part of the journey ticked me off .
That fucken asshole doesn't know how much she's right about asking for .
Either you wanna get some serious .
Wait Ruiyi , shut up , cool down . And remember .
This won't please God .
& I shall bear with you for this once .
And i'll learn to in the future . Just if you would cut out .
Shit , i just wrote one whole chunk of shit for nothin .

For what You did on calvary .
Hatred , God's love . Okay .

I knew you'd come back one day . :) <3 .

Hmm , nothing much alr .
JUNES START .

WOOPEEEEDOOODAAAHAA@&*#(!&#*(&!@) .
I'm sleepy .

Okay i got more to write .
Well , this past year . Lots have happened .
I've fell to pieces , but with these same old people by me .
I could get up again . And i would just wanna thank them .
You know who you are , i wish not show it here .
And i've finally understood , that friendship's really important to me .
And i could let love wait .
I guess I've been running further than i can track .

I need things to slow down , for just this bit of time .
To all my friends .
Who've stood by me , 1 year , 2 years . And even 4 :)

I love you , all .

2005-05-24T20:20:00.000+08:00

Today pure boredom .
Some time with those d1ians .
Pure madness .

I've got nothing to post ,
but that nothings gonna be alright .

2005-05-23T10:53:00.000+08:00

I've been glad , just viewing her blog .
Faith , it is said . And i truly agree .
Many times i have heard the story .
Cold , heat . Light , darkness .
Now , does Evil exist ?

No , it is only the absence of God .
This brings to me the conclusion , that us .
Must all stick by our Heavenly Father .
Walk this journey with him by our side .
Love him , fear him , believe him .
And most importantly ,
Trust him .

All you Jesus chasers out there .
Days start getting numbered , we must hurry ,
and add the names to the book of life
add the voices in heaven , singing his praise .
Let us not cease .

Daughter , Rachel . Truly , past few days
i've been dissapointed you lost your faith .
But today , when i returned to your rants ,
i've been relieved .
I love you , too much to see you walkaway .
So don't do that again . For it hurts .
Mommy *

I don't know why ,
i have a sudden craving for a few people .

Bestie , Pomt , Special , Bean , Moo , Fated .
FRANCES , Rocher , Goose .

Sigh .
Whatever .

2005-05-22T09:37:00.000+08:00

Hope Maryanne doesn't mind me having a pet from the same site .
Mine's a duck . How spastic .

I'll be stronger than I seem .
Cause everything i've been through
should have caused a difference .

I love you Bestie .
Thanks Roche , for the treat .

2005-05-21T16:52:00.000+08:00

Whew , i'm beat .
And scared of the man outside the hall .
He was with a knife , and kept calling us out .
I kept praying , and i was on the verge to cry out like
an infant . Pathetic . LOL .

Bus hags have something against me .
I must have killed them in their past lives .
Recently , lots of bus drivers
dont give me my ticket . But i just walk off after
throwing abit of remarks at him .
Today , i boarded on the bus 70 .
On the first step , he accelerated .
And i fell . What a moron .
Then i throw sixty cents in the coin thingamagig .
And he stones .
"EXCUSE ME ? " Points at coin thingy *
"How much you put in " Stones *
"Sixty cents . "
"Eighty cents needed " Stones *
Turns around , " SCHOOL NAME . "
" Not uniform " Stones -
" I SHOW YOU EZ LINK CARD " Flashes
Bangs the machine and gives me a ticket .
"Idiot " walks .
After that , when i got off the bus
he glares at me . So i glare back .

Go to . Alright , my lips are shut .
Changing blog song soon ,
so before i do , NOBODY
Put the same song i'm putting , HAHA .
Thanks :D

KHAIRUL ANWAR < I posted your name . HA .
Hahahaha , don't get angry !
I'll BOLD IT .
KHAIRUL ANWAR
I'll ITALIAN IT .
KHAIRUL ANWAR
I'll BOLD AND ITALIAN IT :D
KHAIRUL ANWAR
lovelove :)

2005-05-20T14:17:00.000+08:00

JOG a jog
sucks .

Basically got scorched .
Had fun with special , singing , mocking sec ones .
Bestie came along , acted as bimbos
Under the umbrella .
Then came the dumb part .
The prize presentation Hohoho .
No usage of umbrella was allowed .
Bloody principle .

Went to parkway with Jolyn to catch lunch
before heading home , RUSH RUSH .
I fell asleep in the library .
BLOODY LIBRARIAN WOKE ME UP .
rerhs , i got back before my curfew .

Poor partner . Lost in East Coast .
Hopefully you reach home soon yea :)
I miss you !

Loneliness . Just can anyone replace it .
No , not just anyone . Though still
on thundered nights , i hear the fret raining .
I cannot put this to the past .
Nor do i let go .
Cause you left me hanging .
And now i'm caught in the midst
of moving towards , and falling behind .

No matter what , i miss you .
And heck . If like what she said ,
i would really playback
and stop the moment . Leave it in immobility .
Without motion .
Just that scenario , gray and white .
& i'd leave it there forever
just to be with you .

I guess moving on wasn't gonna be that easy
although i saw it all coming .

Damn , i miss you bad .

[/edit ]

And when i see those things
that surprise me , that stuns me .
My heart sinks , turns hollow .
I don't know what you're up to anymore .
And i still , wish for you .

Anyone who could touch you
could hurt you , or heal you .
Anyone who could reach you
can love you ,

or leave you .

I'm falling back to where i ran away from .

{/edit}

833pm ;

Tuition started 33 minutes ago
and now it ends .
He left .

Bloody hell of an idiot

2005-05-20T00:33:00.000+08:00

So i read the schedules.
Fucked , not as i pressumed .
So all this will go to waste .
Yea , i'm pessimistic . Darn .

I'm just being used anyway .
So it doesn't differ .

This was my last chance ,
and the wind carried it away .

2005-05-17T21:58:00.000+08:00

Schooled .
Significant marks .
Eve threw the ball at tini , LMFAO .
Cheer up specialable .
Titanic in the rain .
YEEHA . Square dances -

Overall , alright day . But long .
And really wet . Went home with FATED .
HAHA , loves sherrie :D.

Training .

Realised i shouldn't be giving up yet .
I can feel some difference .
I shouldn't be this weakened .

Talks with you , briefly show .
How much i can't let go .

DAMN .
Someone save me .

2 more weeks till church , can't wait .
Really !

2005-05-15T17:37:00.000+08:00

Well , i've been pondering really hard on this matter .
Practically SHE* thinks that her daughter is
the best and i'm inferior .
So i guess she's my ordeal i wanna overcome .
I feel evil suddenly .
But this is kinda a war ground alr .
She's younger than me and it ain't right .

Tuition just ended
ended quite weirdly though .
Played a game which he won . Hur .
Root beer-ed with POMT .
Sorry i couldn't hang much with you .
I'll collect phone later yes :)

So next week begins my race with you .
Maybe i'd start slow and you'd be sprinting fast .
But i'll catch up sooner or later

I swear , just watch me .

2005-05-14T21:32:00.000+08:00

Basically . I'm missing church for this
Yet right now i realise .
It might have been to late to start .
Fuck . When i had 13 years back .
And fate had brought me to that old hag .
It isn't fair at all .

I wanted to glorify God ,
be absent for a short period of time
to be the best , and it's all for the King in heaven .
But just a clear reminisce
of how i've been trained
how i first stepped into the badminton world
has been a waste .

If life had a backspace .
I would have been perfected .
Maybe i'm a perfectionist .
But I would rather be perfect in only this aspect .
And the rest . I wouldn't mind being shit .

I really wanna get there .
But it ain't coming easy . I started off on a wrong foot .
It'd be fucken hard to change .
And basically the fucken sacarstic coach
is definately not providing moral support

THANKS .

But , then again .
Now i remember . What She said to me today .
When she embraced me and said .
" train hard Ruiyi "
Oh my gosh . I'd just cry now .
Thanks . Love you Anna .

Now what the hell am i to do .
SBA accepts till sec two . And i'm sec two .
As time run pasts me
And the sands in the hourglass fall .
My chances are ticking
& i'm not gonna sit back and watch my life dive down
You'd be my motivation .

& I guess i shan't pursue my complaints of
inevitable mistakes i've done .
To be strong , i'll get over it . And overcome it .
I might never get in there . But i will never give up .
Cause that's not the only way .

2005-05-13T23:04:00.000+08:00

ROOT BEER , i have it too
-looks at POMT .
Well school flew past , kinda .

PARTY .
Drunk . Intoxication .
Really , i ain't lying .
I think i talked much poppiecock,
in front of wrong people ):

I CANT REMEMBER

FRIDAY 13TH QDJKHQKLWDKLQ ,

2005-05-12T20:54:00.000+08:00

WOO, week's almost over
History paper tomorrow
Crosses fingers , DO NOT fail ):
Aie, wish the the best alrighty :) .

Talk of emotional something .
And, it was alright i'd reckon .
Banana, what a name .
Well, we didn't have much time though .
Charades :) .

OH , TUITION CANCELLED =D
yaye, somehow .
CHEERS .

Then , erh . Training was alright .
Finally i'd reckon .
Tomorrow , Good or bad .

OH WELL .

2005-05-11T21:05:00.000+08:00

BLAST IT .
Blister on my blister . Ha, but worth it .
I shall say , this is getting somewhere
at least, differs from kim .
Jo's pretty sick of him too .
Well, but in thie fucken corrupted school
The student body obviously has no say .
No matter what .

School was pretty alright , History .
The computers , fidgeting with it was plain
FUN .
Eve and Emeline were fiddling with the buttons .
Aww, so cute :)

Supposedly. I forgot tuition homework
SHUCKS, and i'm still here .
Oh save me . Guess i'd have no sleep today .
Ouch, massage my back PLEASE .

Ain't looking forward to tomorrow .
Lucky ass goose got no school for three days .
Heck this ain't fair .
We've got bloody field trips .
Bringing cereal ? Hopefully :) Yaye .

CHEER UP JUMBOO khai :)
Don't be so sad .
Nowadays, there isn't people
as nice as US anymore .
HA , HA .

I feel egoistic, but you shan't comment on that .

2005-05-10T15:32:00.000+08:00

I think i'm rather melodramatic .

Recess today was memoriable ?
Laughed much , elohssa . ROFL .
I MEAN , CARISSA . The what la woman .

Thanks moo for the umbrella, AGAIN .

Mrs Stubbins is just plain adorable .
Her lessons begin to seem . Interesting .
I'd moan over it in the past , not now .
I'd be looking forward to an instant stage act .
Laughs .

Gave Candice Candy . Well, eyecandy .
LOL PIN IT UP LUH . =D .

Tear it into pieces if you would , i'd support .

TESTS ARE OVER , screams .
Making thouse particular friends jealous ;D

GOSH, i'd die over MSG .
Instant noodles ? Again ? Oh spare me .
DNT, any help anyone ?
I'm lost :D

[/edit]

Well basically it's just a period of boredom again .
It just seems so fast, term three ahead .
So many things ahead .
Everything in my calendar worth noting .

And it's just . 3 weeks .

Funny how life seems to slide pass
without being noticed at all .

Rachie, i miss you dearly .
And i don't know why, but i cant keep my mind
off the situation you seem to be in .
I really hope what i wrote you
would do you change ,
cause this really , isn't the way .

& you know better .
& you know i love you .

2005-05-09T19:21:00.000+08:00

I MISS . Lol , :D .
School, alright . Stupid music thing .
Abit of amusement rather, with POMT :)
Loves *

Training , telepathy with Neri ;D .
Thank GOD . Bloody Kimmy picked on me
Soon after that is .
I can't work under you man .
No f ing way .
Me and Denise can't coordinate .
We'd both leave an empty space there .
Oh well, i guess these things take time .
Kimmy talked about retiring ?
I was filled with glee .
But the thought of him saying that 5 years ago
And he being still around .
Made me wanna cry . His training sucks too much .
Oh God, why did i go to this school
For the sake of him, badminton
When it isn't doing me much good .
I guess im just too naive to believe his buys back then .
STUPID RUIYI , STUPID .

:( When will this week end .
Geog test tomorrow , hey .
This is the REST period of my schedule
SO SHUT UP . :)

Chowdy .

EDIT

11pm whatever .

Truths i found out . Hopes dashed .
GOODBYE whatever i planned to wait for ,
i guess it was too precious .

2005-05-08T15:10:00.000+08:00

Is this the only way i'd be significant
When we know it's all wrong .

Cookies . Mom . Hohoho .
Later with Emeline . Yeah .
Tuition cancelled . Yaye .

Because of this now that it revolves around my world
I'd be skipping church for three weeks .
Not skipping .
More like missing , sadly .
This i pray for forgiveness , because i do this
to fufil my dream , glorify your name .

Why i wonder . No .
It isn't time to wonder why .
It's just time to give it all i got .
And to the one and only who'd support me .
I'm thankful, and i'm sorry .
Least expected those things you said .
Maybe i'd do someone proud someday .

& sometimes i ponder .
Mommy , are you proud of me ?

My soul cries for deliverance .

[/edit]

Your fucking irritating .
I'm trying not to hurt you .

EYECANDY . lol, pretty eyes :) I MISS .
LOL, i think i'm mad .

Out with POMT . Cookie delivery .
Was so embarassed .
Stupid jokes
Stupider ass ;)

2005-05-07T17:17:00.000+08:00

Just done up my schedule
Realised, everyday's training .
HoHoHo .
Studies too of course .
I ain't gonna slack anymore .
So i guess dates gotta wait .
I'd treasure school hours thus .

The worst is over now ,
and we can breathe again .

Just came back from training,
And going off for another soon .
Weehoo . Well, my phone's screwed .
And it caused some misunderstanding .
I'll stop self deceiving .
Because it ain't helping me at all .
It's just making up for the sullen .
But it'd bring more .

Temporary serenades
in this melody of torment .

[/edit]

Turns out funny, how someone you hate
becomes the person you've been looking out for .
Someone who'd support you .
To replace your parents , and show you the way .
I thought i hated you .

But i think i won't anymore .
I'm sorry , and .
Sincerely .

Thank you .

Unless you were fibbing .
Which i hope not, because you made me glad .

2005-05-06T10:28:00.000+08:00

Do you know how it feels to be neglected
How it feels to be forsaken
How it feels to be forgotten
How it feels to be isolated
How it feels to be left

I counted on you . I prayed .
But i wouldn't get anything , and this is how it is .

I wanted to give you something ,
something special .
But you never accepted anything from me .
Now, this has what became .

Wow, unlucky day .
But turned out pretty fine
then pretty bad again .

I didn't mean to say that .
So don't believe in me , if you see this .
We're just good friends . I promise .

2005-05-05T13:05:00.000+08:00

Hey, school now .
Meiyangs my ANGEL . No clue at all .
How stupid could i get ? Way stupid i guess .
For didn't get that well for bio .
History test just over in computer lab right now .

Elohssa is playing runscape . That geek ;D
Hurhurhur she's going to add me on msn .

This is to someone special .
Or rather, Hayden special .

I know how your feeling, with life running low .
My dear baby, cheer up . I'll help .
Don't cry over this . Buck up , :)
I love you . And it hurts to see you cry .

Emeline wants to blog .

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII. :)
IM FREEEZZZIIINNNNGGGG.
MY FINGERS ARE NUMBBBBBBBBBBBBBB.
HEHEHE. :)
LOVE YOUUUUU

[/edit]

This silent prayer i commit to myself every night
this painful loneliness of not knowing
this peserverence of waiting

Is all for you .

I want my answers , now .

I miss Eva :)

2005-05-04T20:42:00.000+08:00

It is unfair that you chase each temporary high
yet it ends up to displease you
i got 29/40, yet i got 32/40 .
And yet i could have gotten fulls .
Damn .
I'm not happy with my file .
Well, slipshot .

Training . It kills . And i hate him .
It isn't any use .
Why am i doing this for .

Mommy, why aren't you here
why don't you turn up for any of my matches .
Why don't you support me .
Why are you not on the bench .
Why don't you believe in my dreams .

I don't want her, mommy . To be the one there .
She isn't my mommy . You are .

& i want you around to inspire and back my life up.

2005-05-03T20:16:00.000+08:00

Training . Kim's senile .

Bloody rod .

Came home , still have lit , math .
Need to study for geog , hist .
Stop the time of failing .
Before the lateness starts falling over .

Love my bestie .

For the one with the heart i broke
i'm sorry . That's all i can offer .

To the heartbreaker .
Shut the fuck up already .
You don't really understand love do you .
It ain't eye candy you fuck .

2005-05-02T09:22:00.000+08:00

My sun may never rise the way it did with you

Hearing to eme's Call him mine .
Damn . It's saddening, really .
I really feel no butterflies . But still , trust .
Yet , I wonder why you doubted me .
When i was trying to hold on so hard , didnt you see that ?
It really stabbed me hard
Thinking of how you predicted me to be this way .
When I was trying my best just to ajoin us .
How could you be so cold . Your cold glares back then .
Just cause he was my good friend .
Because back then , i only loved you . And i would have only loved you .
Forever .
But you left me all alone .
Still , i feel the tingly stuff . Your messages seem special .
I guess i ain't fully over you yet .
Nor do i love the way i loved you anymore .
It's really fucked . Cause i really wanted you forever .
To be that way , in that first period of time .

Couldn't you at least have tried .

Damn , why am i bragging over it . When it's over .

On the other hand , YOU .
Each time you say those stuff again .
I start to get so frustrated . Can't you be abit less blind .
Can't you tell ? It's practically obvious .
Maybe my cover up is just to well done .
But can't you tell that i really care for you
and underappreciated .

You're really heartbreaking . But i had to love you .
Just like he predicted .
Maybe i shouldn't have gotten to know you .
Maybe i wouldn't be doubted .
Maybe i would have been trusted .
Maybe i wouldn't have been left .

Maybe i wouldn't be predictable .

Damn .

{EDIT} 634pm ;

Alright , caught infection .
It is funny . Very funny , either that
Or i'm plain sadistic . Cause i laughed 3/4 way through .
I SEE RED AS GREEN AND GREEN AS RED .

How it truly irritates me
when you decide to do something nice for everyone .
Take the time , money , and effort to go there .
And out of 12 , only 3 appeared .

What a team .

BESTIE <333 :)

GUN GAME, BANG BANG .
today rocked, somehow , in the end .
Though much temper bloated out in the beginning .

Well , the question from her . Leaves me wondering .
Am i over you . And whom do i love now .
I'm just smothered in this confusion .
But i just can't believe i let you doubt me .
I shouldn't have said those things .
I shouldn't have done those things .
But it's too late for sorrys .
But whatever happen , i miss you . Alot .

What the fuck is wrong with me .

2005-05-01T10:49:00.000+08:00

So . I've set my heart and mind to it . Yes , i will be the best .
No matter what . I wanna be :D

Church last night .
Shall i spread the gospel here , ahhh :)

Jesus endured the cross, for he saw the everlasting ahead .
He wanted to purchase men . Us .
I'm going to pray and contribute, and add
to the children of God, to the voices in heaven .

And thus, i'd be praying for the special few, again .
for the 234812874128748912th time . But yes ,
i will never give up, because i love them, and God loves them :)

Ignorance . Thanks .
So i'm sorry, but you didn't sound like you understood .
I don't get you .
I just don't . Right now, what's going on ?
It's heartbreaking . And, i can't go on .
I wanna show you . How much , love can be .
Maybe i've made a few mistakes . A bit of flaws .
But i've set my mind to learn, and i won't do it again .

I promise .

[/edit]

blindness .
Blinded by love ?
It's just a mere infatuation .
I can't stand how we're drifting apart now .

Pomt . You cheer up too .

Everything's gonna be alright .

2005-04-30T17:09:00.000+08:00

I guess i'm drowning myself with badminton .
Maybe cause . I wanna be the best at something .
My studies suck , and i'll never be the best to you .
So . I guess badminton's just a runaway method .

Cheers eh . Yes . Gonna win , gonna win
Gonna see you .

Damn .

This isn't going far ,
and i pretty much got no chance .
Maybe if you realise that i'd be there for you .
You'll one day understand .

But that day is a long way to go .

Till then , i shan't say i'd wait forever .
But i'll try .

2005-04-29T19:59:00.000+08:00

alright , school passed pretty fast
waited for arts festival
went to surongmeis class
got kicked out by surongmei

joke of the day

i am 0 percent fated with Durgar .

HAHA . That got me kicked out .

Arts festival rocked .
The white people are good :)

[/edit]

Would you ever find out .
Cause it's killing me .
Through the heart , everything .
Somehow , you broke through the defences
i tried to build up .
& you're sinking in .
Every minute . Second . That passes by .
Is another chance of telling you gone .
What if i told you . What would you do .

I'm falling apart , piece by piece .
But baby, would you see that .
Cause the front cover on this book
is differs 180 from the inside .

I miss you .

2005-04-28T17:11:00.000+08:00

Hello hello . I hate Amanda Lesbo .
See it ? Are you done being a copydog
Which i also like to call bitch .
Get your own life . Stop making us your icon .
I know you're just jealous .

& again . It's all about that .
Not this . Can't you tell ?
This secrecy , is contradictive .
I wanna let it out . But . Such a risk
i'd be taking .
One by one , the days pass by .
I watch how infatuated you seem to be .
And how i fall faster .
Day by day , i grow weaker .
My energy diffuses . I'm getting tired .

I can't go on this way .
I'm not the same person i used to be .
& it's all cause of you .
All because you won't see , and realise
how i'd be there for you . How i really would .
& you let your eyes lead you .

My eyes grow redder .
My voice turns softer .
My self esteem and confidence , goes away .

I've been living in a disbelief of forever .
And i want that to change .
And i want you to help me with that .
Feelings die . Don't they .
But would i die before they do .
Cause listening to you , is killing me .
& each time you say those things .
I'm getting nearer to the verge .

By that time . Ain't no one can save me anymore .

So if i told you , would you break your promise .
Or would i continue to pretend .
& risk another heartbreak on my record
& another friend gone .

2005-04-26T18:48:00.000+08:00

must ;
your emotions , conversations .
moods . happiness . world
revolve just around something
you know you cannot reach out to .
You can not have . You can only wish .

Cause you're doing that .
& I'm the one hearing everything .

And it hurts .

2005-04-26T17:29:00.000+08:00

anna is embracing me as she sleeps
and watching me type :/
I STINK LA .

she's fantasizing of her pretty boy :/
With no x-factor, just pretty eyes :D
and his pretty nose .
-__-
she's smiling away now . thinking of him .
crazy girl la .
shes looking at me
no she isnt thinking of me .
she's thinking of that stupid boy
hey i can type while i look at anna
and not at the screen !

:D

boo ): tuition soon , i think .
hope he slips over the banana peel .

TOODLES .

2005-04-25T19:09:00.000+08:00

): i will miss seniors
hey, third and fourth in Singapore ?
Sounds good to me !
:D

Missed 2 days of school already .
:D
sigh, & it's over so fast .

Just your smile , is enough .

The most mesmerizing pair of eyes
*Winks at anna :D

2005-04-24T19:10:00.000+08:00

HAHA, whole day-ed with POMT
became plumbers . it was damn hot .
look at pomt's blog luh for photos :D
http://paperdolls.diary-x.com
yesyes . then many photos .
AND VIDEOS, HAHAHAHAHA . :D

damn damn funny . signs & cowboy & green day .
whoopsie, i fell ):
hahaha . we had to plumber customers .
:D maryanne and candice ho
today is plumber day , yes ;D

mmm . ahlian photos too :/
erotic ? yes . hehehe .
went to ems for a while .
went home from there
a boy threw a rock at me , nice shot .

i am a holy individual who does not resort to violence .
especially on insolent fools .

IM GOING TO TAKE A RIFLE AND KILL HIM .

see you em in a few minutes ? SUPPER :D

love you em :D

2005-04-24T13:50:00.000+08:00

HOORAH , church today
HOORAH , church yesterday
HOORAH , emeline later

BOOOOO , tuition :(

basically, the newspaper report
on the JC student getting shocked by this
dead body she found in the drain ?
well
that JC girl is my cell leader .
& she was practically fine today, &
was using that as a testimonial for us !

Praise the Lord ! :D

-COUGHGHGHGHGHGH .

im dying .

i don't wanna retype it , so

Hopelessly Blissful & Blind. says:
YOUR TEACHER ROCKS. LOL.

You can be my Brown Eyed Beauty . _
Behind these Hazel eyes says:
yea

You can be my Brown Eyed Beauty . _
Behind these Hazel eyes says:
he rocks so much i want him to slip over a
banana peel on the third floor and remain unconscious
for one and a half hour then wake up in
amnesia and go home

:D

I have to start taking control over my emotions .
This will ruin our relationship .
Which is too precious for me to tell you anything
but still .
I'm hoping & praying that one day . No .
Forget it .

FRANCES ,
cheer up best friend :D
i'd be praying .

Church yesterday, nobody showed up .
I wonder if daughter is alright .

Sermon was about Prayer&Evangelism .
Well . Casino's wrong , Speaker said .
It'd drive Singapore downhill .
It's a destroyer . So that i shall be praying for .
She said
Prayer is talking to God about others
Evangelism is talking to others about God .
& i will be praying for the world .
But starting with
names . For God to send angels and dreams
to slowly remove the blindfold
of the non believers i love
on which the Satan placed on .
You know who you are .
You two , rather .
Additionally .
You two are my dearest in the whole world .
Hopefully one day, you'd understand .

Till then, i'd be praying .
And waiting for God to show you through me .

Amen ? Amen .

2005-04-23T15:36:00.000+08:00

I'm recovering, finally :D yaye .
This world ain't fair, just heard from joshua
their school got sponsored from yonex
They have a full yonex suit !
jackets and track pants i reckon .
First and second placing what what .
ERGH, NOT FAIR ): ): i want also !
cheer up joshua :) :) <3

i'll be waiting to see it on Monday
and turn green .
CHURCH LATER . whoopee :D
i wish everyday was saturday :D
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BERNICE

alrighty . I've done my homework :)
That tutor better praise me .
Soundbites> BSB incomplete

Who has it ? ):

Was thinking of the competition
for next couple of years .
See then . Next year ,
Shortage of players , Sports school .
Next next year .
Raffles have four seeds .

So, this year .
We watched the chances slip by again .
This is a hard lesson learnt .
But who can turn back time .

A division . Wonder how that would be like :/

OH WELL, why am i looking so far
when tomorrow isn't promised for me :)

I LOVE GOD . :D

2005-04-22T18:29:00.000+08:00

this ain't erotic okay .

missed school today, died at home .
coughed, and the medicine was just
So drowsy . So i probably slept the whole time

My sis is attending to me =D .
i still feel sick .
But i will go to church !
AND BERNICE ! =D

Suddenly thought of yesterday
Everything, not as vaguely as my post .
Is all you care about her .
Does your thoughts revolve around her .
Cause it isn't fair .

Xiujuan, love you lots :)
had tonnes of fun with you in the bus .
Frances, i really will miss you .
Alot .

I'm sick .
So horribly .
& i've got lots to do .

Chow .

2005-04-21T20:32:00.000+08:00

Yaye, third .
Paddy, gosh i love you .
So i gotta treat the whole team now .
Time for savings !
<3

Gosh .
What's wrong with me .
Is this inevitable . Can i run free .
Or do i wait and see .

Is this yet another illusion .
Or is it , nature taking course .

What's wrong with me .

Black hearts eh Jo, Frances .
I want one too .
I love Xiujuan . And Frances .
But what if . It's really her .

Is this jealousy .
Or is it my mind playing another trick on me .

Underneath, i bruise easily .

2005-04-19T20:40:00.000+08:00

sorry
i dont even know why i brought back my own head .
it shouldnt be on my neck .

anyhow .
sorry's mostly to the class .
who wanted to cheer me on . and skip school .
fucking damnit .

2005-04-18T21:41:00.000+08:00

save me from turning into a bitch .

tmr semis :)
got so much backup !
therefore, i wanna win . i know we can .
we'll win okay :)
im bringing back heads ;)

2005-04-17T19:41:00.000+08:00

YTD
churched with mummy and pals :)
YAYE . fun fun .

TODAY
cell, supposed to be at jamies house
but no
lol met goose ltr for lunch though
with germ .
but hello, she was gossiping bout goose's sis
infront of goose
-_____- ah heck .
BYE,

EMELINE, your tag is super funny

HACK HACK HACK HACK ?! HA
HAHAHAHAHAHA

2005-04-16T12:42:00.000+08:00

my mums coming to church
:)

hohums, thanks eme and rach for the cake .
tastes wonderfullest : D

2005-04-15T20:06:00.000+08:00

before you* doze off at my entry,
i have to say before it starts
I DID NOT FORGET

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ONLY ONE

yaye :) best wishes . you are my only only only one :D
i love you <333 . you erotic naughty naughty girl :)

ALRIGHTY, headstart .
today was practically nothing .
except much pasting of stuff on elohssa
in bio AND chinese :)
i wonder if she found out i vandalised
I LOVE GAWAIN completely with permenant
mark on her water bottle :)

trng, okie dokkie
kimmy pissed me off . bang .
my juniors are so cute :) delvina is so stupid
keeps falling for the same trick .
save me from the disgusting sheperd pies
had fun with the shark thing xD
anna does it really cutely .

We're gonne be there on Friday .

This is pray and give to the Lord .

PLANETSHAKERS CD :)
YAYE .

2005-04-14T19:32:00.000+08:00

we lost .
weee hooo .
st nicks .
here we come .
weee hooo .

2005-04-13T21:04:00.000+08:00

didnt go to school today ,
but id smile for bean tomorrow :]
-sneezes .
raffles match tomorrow .
yet i aint afraid,
though the first singles cant play .

cause God does everything for a reason .

ive finished the erotic book . =/
SUCH an UNerotic ending ):
lol, i think im pervertic .

emeline told me she watched a movie with elohssa
without knowing why
i find it funny,
i wanna try it one day ! and throw the popcorn on her face :)

2005-04-12T20:29:00.000+08:00

anglican match
5-0
erotic books are well loved
by bird :)
she insists i lend it to her .
delvina tried to be uninnocent .
but my dear girl, you are way too young :)

bird saw my poses in the phone , HA .
she got ill .
:/ . iguana rock . bang . die .
HA, bonding with only one :)
<3333 . im half dead . or half alive .

2005-04-11T19:57:00.000+08:00

so .
bad day.
bad bad bad day .
thanks emeline
sorry candice
thanks mei .

for taking such a suicide
just for me .

2005-04-11T13:04:00.000+08:00

later
lemme see what youd do .
when you feel that cramp in your throat.
may God be with you .
IDPW .

if you see this, im sorry goose .

2005-04-10T16:34:00.000+08:00

two can play games .
wait, three .

stop your acting.
do you go to church to love God
or to love guys .
you differ 180 from your kin .
and i stun at such .
next week .

cell group, talked abt BGR .
ah heck whatever .
neos with liling and gen . :) with the cow .
HEHE, next week cell group
i'll be a spy ;)
IT'S AT JAMIES HOUSE .

2005-04-09T22:46:00.000+08:00

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
i will rise with you above the storm .

Cherlene's and mine's outing was tremendous .
feel so happy . love you bean :]

some lixianlong thing, boring . pure shit .
then churched with big boobed daughter .
jacket, run for cover :] . silly girl .
Church was just awesome . ive never loved it so much .
it was just GREAT !
i love my Lord :)

I ran away, but i'm running back .

2005-04-08T20:33:00.000+08:00

pajama, hahahaha.
we rock luh . i know .
but such happiness and joy .
wasnt meant to last .
and it never does for me

headlights ;
silhouette by.
temptation of steps
the gateway of afterlife ;
wide open.

that look of frost
pain of flame .

i ran back, but i was too late .
for my sorry .
and you wont ever know .

i shouldnt have been a fuck .

2005-04-07T20:22:00.000+08:00

same place, same time, same day .
what could get worst .
you're gonna break me down .

Hooohhh, i can wait .

Please let it be a mistake,
PLEASE .

2005-04-07T19:51:00.000+08:00

the WOW on the bus, again . when it suddenly power offed,
AGAIN.
significant .
samara -ed. im scared, im scared.

tomorrow, im scared.
not for the winning or losing perpective .
i'm afraid, of breaking down.
if memories flood my head, i won't perform .

2005-04-06T20:40:00.000+08:00

damn it.
show your openess to someone else
who probably doesnt look at your ground.
because you are my friend
it hurts.

we've been sorry.

and unforgiven ? fine . so be it.
but you didn't have to headline it.
you know my temper limit, and im holding it back.
fuck, cause i love you.

now do you know how it feels.

2005-04-06T20:26:00.000+08:00

so, trng was alright
school alright.
why aint i worrying for my studies.
maybe i should.

God didnt sacrifice for my life to be lead like this.

frances is coming to church :]
i wanna save everyone.

i have no genes from my mom in terms of character.
why cant she be abit more.
fun .

2005-04-05T20:29:00.000+08:00

so school was pernormal.
maths somehow made an illusion of misery
but hey, i got around it.

training, alright i guess.
no, actually, almost died.
but absence. maybe it was a relief.
i dont know how id act.

so i did the talk.
and, i guess i'll be holding on.
and being strong for you guys out there.
love you guys :)

2005-04-04T20:51:00.000+08:00

ive put this song :]
im into God.
HEEHEEHEEE.

YAYE.

2005-04-04T17:37:00.000+08:00

today was a success, not for the plan.
but more of, the day made me glad.
started off
sacrificing time of my sleep.
for the sake of PRANK, but it turned out fine.
elohssa did climb over.
and the wetting of candice ho ;)
then after school got fun again.
hlm with bernice delvina anna and jane.
HAHA, i love delvina :)
now she's smeared with macdonalds chilli
and soaked with water i splashed.

but somehow, through this happiness.
something, seeped in.

maybe i just aint cut out or strong enough
to be the superwoman you all expect me to be.
our not you all, just you.

Hymn Of Love

2005-04-03T09:19:00.000+08:00

Anything that comes between the Lord and I
is a lie.
And i realised just how many lies
you told upon me.
Church was great, with daughter:)
she got this radio:( cause she's new.
now i know, everyone is born righteous.
We're born, died for, not to fail and sin.

God lives in me, i live again.

clique >
:D let's save people, spread the word.
i love you guys, youve been the best
clique ive ever had :) <333

pomt >
thanks for always bringing me back
to the road of God, when i'm always
drifting away. I won't drift away again.

cher >
hey, i'll be praying for you:) keep your
faith in the Lord and stay true and
faithful, everything happens for a reason,
and God must be having something in store for you :)
CHEER UP i love you :D

daughter >
thanks for ruining my appetite
but yet, living up my church day for me !
:) was fun to have you around, and hardly we spend
time together huh, so come next week:)

and all you ever wanted

2005-04-03T09:14:00.000+08:00

churched with rachel
hey, i payed attention in the sermon
without peeing on rachel :)
i love daughter. <333
well, worship and sermon was alright.
i sing a hymn of love
well, bible studied, and how christ lives in us.

God, i love you.

2005-04-02T12:55:00.000+08:00

I'm in love with God. :)

yesterday on homecoming
i was listening to deltagoodrem
lost without you
and it made me realise
that i would give up anything for you
when goose mentioned it.

then i paused,
anything, except, God, and those i love.

God you are my life:)

i suddenly remember the very cute ONE WAY sign
outside the school back gate
in which candiceho was pointing out to me
while we screaming one way , jesus to school:)

cookies from em ? <333 :)

2005-04-02T10:31:00.000+08:00

match 3-2
got a bit of a breakdown with attitude facing.
seriously, unexpected.
my juniors got me chocolate donuts:)
and i was crying and when i saw it
i smiled. so retarded.
am i such a craze over a donut ?!
yes :D, thank you denise and delvina. <333

raffles is in our group.

2005-03-31T21:13:00.000+08:00

tomorrow.
whatever happens,
it happens for a reason.
i will be strong for those i wanna be strong for.
and i wont show fear.
i wont break my promises.

i wanna save for jesus.

2005-03-30T00:01:00.000+08:00

so maybe youd be better off without me.
the whole family.
black sheep. huh.

and maybe everyone would.
DOH.

2005-03-28T18:42:00.000+08:00

i wont walk out till you know

tamp. that freaking place.
where it all began
felt pretty much like returning to the beginning of time
to where memories linger, and wont fade.
So the atmosphere brought pain. Somehow.
And it could get worse. It did.
Why did i run ? Instinct. What sorta instinct is that.
Fear ? Why.
So, the place. The people. Everything.
Made me, remember. When im trying, desperately
to forget.

why did you come, literally.
wait, in the first place
un-literally
why did you leave.

2005-03-27T16:49:00.000+08:00

this quiz is spreading, well. quite rapidly.
and i wanna do it too : )
IT AMUSES ME IN emeline and eudoras blog : )

Who sits on the left, right, front, back of you in class?
left sherrie(: right charm front jiayan back rachel(s)

Name any 7 girls in your class
emeline, cherlene, carissa, candice ho, maryanne, xinyuan, meiyang.

What is your cca?
badminton.

Who's the quietest?
manling i suppose.

Class clown?
-whistles.

Smartest student?
me and emeline in our faraway dreams, we top chinese.

Most hardworking?
meiyang.

Most sweet?
alot of people are.

Most innocent?
there's a naughtynaughty side in everyone ;)

Always get into trouble?
me and emeline.

Most creative?
ummm. everyone has their diff perspectives, so everyone is.

Favourite teacher?
surongmei, miss hazelin.

Most funny?
teacher, surongmei : D
friend, emeline : ))

Best moment in class?
similar to emeline and eudora's answer.

What you do during recess?
er, i forgot.

What you do during class?
sometimes, pay attention. the rest, i slp or make trouble.

Who always laughs in class?
the loudest would have to be candiceho or emeline. or me.

Fav hangout with friends in skool?
classroom. its mad.

Post you've got in school?
what ?

Last words? EMELINE WHERE ARE YOU I SEE THE MUD.

2005-03-27T16:19:00.000+08:00

well, tuition. uber ewww,
again. tried to watch shutter MYSELF, again.
out of pure boredom.
thanks joshua, you saved me by calling me
so i had to " without intention " turn the telly off.

HA. and now im stoning.
and reminiscing, because it wont stop.

2005-03-27T10:47:00.000+08:00

yesterday
frances came over at night for shutter
did some mad things
phoned over, till mid.

it made me miss you,
some more.

tuition starts in3 minutes
fucken mother wants me to gobble my food
when im already choking.

i wish roy would die now
or i would die choking.

2005-03-24T23:17:00.000+08:00

nothing hurts like love
nothing lasts forever.
NOTHING.

grow up young girl.
stop lying to yourself.
stop recalling the past.
stop whatever.
and start living the life
you have to start living from today.

REW; made me think.
abt theres no promise
i'd be waking up tomorrow.
so i better start living, for today.
Praise the Lord, for my existance every day.

&change 180,
sacrifices of fools. BIG NONO.

though i'd miss you. ha.

2005-03-23T21:47:00.000+08:00

i hate roy.
his face irritates me.
i might be over protecting you
but i'm just doing it, cause i dont want you
to end up like me.
cause ive been through all.
and you're my best friend.
i hope you understand. i really do.
it has no connection to jealousy. i swear.

2005-03-22T22:44:00.000+08:00

so school, normal as usual.
pe sucked big time, i wish not to recall.
i just sumpathize with sherrie.

physical after school ?
thank you heaven for the rains.
headed to paulus training.

so, i still get sabotaged after one year.
just by a whole lot more of guys now.
paulus was the worse, made me partner chandra.
well. so it was kinda funny, kinda embarassing.
i felt kinda awkward to partner him
so i guess i played like a newbie.
but there was this, throat aching feeling.

he reminded me of .

crams to the worst state,
and still being laughed at that im dying.
irritable.
muscle pulled.
went home.
goose thinks im trying to forget everything
by saying chandra is cute .

should i believe that.

2005-03-21T21:47:00.000+08:00

so four days passed me by.
& i kept lying to myself, but i can't
anymore.
i pray that you are blessed.
and pray that i hold on.
however i tried though,
doesnt work, and wont work.

guess the truths just about out.
time to run for cover.

so many songs in the world
countless lyrics cliched
all have never came close
to thoughts in heart torn heads.
so many movies played
frequent lines rephrased
none depicts reality
as performed in human race.

2005-03-20T12:55:00.000+08:00

Was I lost in you and me
To the point I couldn't see
That what we had was dying
Now it's all that I can do
To see photographs of you
And stop myself from crying

I should learn
To live without your love
Got so many memories
But it's not enough

2005-03-19T17:09:00.000+08:00

so you do know, how i feel
yeh.
so today, nor tomorrow
will i see matchmaking progress. For them.
Or you.

maybe today, tomorrow
will add on as days pass by.

2005-03-18T19:55:00.000+08:00

ok, so you lied again.
im not getting fooled anymore
i can sense something weird in this departure
and i see through your lies

so, lost the match, as expected
from mentality , so he says.
well no, tried our best in the second match
kinda proud i didnt cry after the match
and even if i did, it had nothing to do with losing.

guess this turning point of life,
wasnt that much of a turning.
headed to stardus club with snrs to play more
training was cancelled.
albertus lost ? wow, miraculous.
played for a period of hovering arnd 2 hours.
the sofa was too nice for words.
ok, it was smooth.
headed over to heartland for that same old kayatoast,
made me happy till the stupid uncle gave me slipshot second helpings.

&so, if tmrw is arranged
our " mission " will have to have progress.
or is it just some lame excuse
to see you once again.